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This post is part of my 2022 Word Project. You can read what that’s about here.

Monday, October 23, 2023

My balloons arrived! I’d forgotten I ordered them and then suddenly wondered whatever happened to them. They were supposed to be delivered yesterday, and it turns out… they were. When I opened the front door to look, they were sitting on the mat waiting.

I guess when you don’t leave the house for a week, you miss things like that.

But what better way to start a Monday than with balloons? For no reason at all.

The first thing I did this morning, before I even ate my scrambled eggs, was blow up a balloon. A big, pumpkin-orange balloon. Then I taped it to the wall, which was no small feat since our walls are covered in that obnoxious popcorn paint. But I wanted a balloon on the wall, so I got that balloon on the wall. It was delightful.

I’ll tell you what, having a big, pumpkin-orange balloon hanging next to you on a Monday morning while you eat scrambled eggs is pretty nice. They even came with curly gold ribbon, so I tied some to the end of the balloon and let it dangle prettily down the wall.

Then I got to work. I had to mock up a website for a client who I spoke to last Wednesday and said I’d have a mockup for on Monday and then subsequently forgot about it. I’m nothing if not completely OCD about getting stuff to clients on time, so me and my balloon banged that thing out with purpose. Within an hour it was done and dusted and sent off for review.

I rewarded myself by blowing up another balloon. A big, chocolate-cherry-red balloon with a little curly golden tail. I taped it to the bar shelf where it stuck quite nicely. Even balloons like the bar.

I learned to tie balloons in summer camp, when we were having a water balloon fight with another group, and I had no idea how to tie balloons but I wasn’t about to have my team defeated by a lack of balloons so I learned fast. Funny what you can do with the proper motivation.

Just last year as I was blowing up a whole bunch of balloons for a party, Ralph asked me to teach him. I tried, but the minute I thought about it I couldn’t remember for the life of me how to do it. Funny what you can’t do when you have to.

After the website mockup, I had to write social posts for my clients. Forty two social posts, to be more precise. Writing any social posts, let alone 42, can be pretty tedious. But me and my balloons sat down and banged them out. Within an hour they were done and dusted and scheduled.

I rewarded myself by blowing up a third balloon. A big, shiny-topaz-gold balloon. I taped it to the doorframe so I’d have something to look at other than the stink bugs stuck to the glass.

Ralph asked if something was going on.

I pretended not to know what he was talking about. Going on? With what?

He asked me why I was blowing up balloons. I said because they make me happy.

I got back to work. It was Quickbooks day, and if there is one thing I hate more than technology it is Quickbooks. Just ask my father, who doubles as my accountant. I frequently call him and say things like ARGH! And GRAAAAAA! And WHAT IS HAPPENING! And then he has to get on a Zoom with me and look at things and push buttons and say things like Huh, and That’s funny, when we both know that funny is never what Quickbooks is.

But I had balloons, so I sat down and banged it out. It was a little GRAA! But not too much, and I saved the best balloon for last.

It was a translucent balloon with shiny gold confetti coins inside, so when you blow it up the confetti flies all around and then you can have some fun shaking it up and watching it sparkle.

I tried to tape it to another wall but it kept falling off, so I tried taping it to the blinds, but it fell off there, too. I suspect because it wanted to show off its dancing confetti.

Then I taped it to Alice and it stayed there for a while until it went bouncing off once again. Eventually I taped it next to the red one on the bar and it seemed satisfied there. Can’t say I blame it.

Ralph asked me again if something was happening because I kept blowing up balloons. I thought I explained it the first time, but to be helpful, I said yes… I’m blowing up balloons because I want balloons. I’m not sure he understood my sudden balloon-urge but he had to agree that they were quite pretty.

The rest of the day went as days go, but it was prettier than usual, and no matter what happened, there were balloons. They turned out to be a most excellent seven dollar impulse buy. The next time you’re having a bad day/week/month and everyone seems especially stupid and every inanimate object is out to get you, I highly recommend a little balloon therapy.