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This post is part of my 2022 Word Project. You can read what that’s about here.

Tuesday, February 22, 2022
9:00am

Two hours until the Witch Queen is released on Destiny. At this point I don’t know who is more excited, me or Ralph. For Ralph it means decompressing and hanging out with his clan and doing something he enjoys. For me it means time to myself to do whatever I want. Which is usually sitting next to him watching him play Destiny.

Of course, there is slim to no chance of that happening in two hours given the time of day, but that is the plan for tonight.

In the meantime, it’s twoday.

I am compelled to write about the word two. It’s calling me.

I don’t know what I’ll say about it, but that’s what word projects are for.

 3:09pm

I missed 2:22 because WORK!!! I made a mental note to acknowledge it just for the cool factor but then got busy and here I am.

In honor of 2/22/22, let’s celebrate this unique little number together. And my half birthday. I’m 52 1/2 years old today, which does not come with balloons or cake, and seemed so much more exciting when I got to tell everyone I was six and a half, in that way that all six year olds really want to be seven.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of the number two is two dollar bills. I have an envelope full of them because Aunt Rosie used to collect them for me and my brothers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a two dollar bill in circulation. I’ve certainly never gotten one as change, or paid with one.

To be fair I haven’t seen anything resembling cash in years, except when we need to buy Ellie’s donuts at the Farmers Market because they only take cash, then we dig under cushions and in wallets and pockets to find six bucks.

But still, the only place I ever saw a two dollar bill was in an envelope in my Box of Things.

My Box of Things has some cool things, like a button from a dress my mother wore when I was very young and in my memory she sparkled like a princess. I have a Chinese lantern with one broken leg that my grandfather gave me. I have the flattened balloons from my Sweet Sixteen, and a small mylar one that Ralph gave me before we got married that is still fully inflated.

And I have a collection of Little Twin Star toys, which was my second favorite thing next to Hello Kitty.

Twin stars and second favorite things get a nod on the day of two.

As for the two dollar bills, I can’t spend them, of course. Just like I can’t spend the book of dimes that my grandmother collected for me. I think they were supposed to teach me something about saving, and I guess they did. I saved them for nearly 50 years.

The two dollar bills were uncommon, and expected to be worth something one day. More than two dollars, anyway. But there are too many of them for that to be the case so I just keep them and am reminded.

Besides, they would have to be worth a LOT for me to get rid of them. Like a million dollars or something. I get attached to things like that.

7:05pm

I ordered pizza for dinner so Ralph can play Destiny and I can sit there while he does instead of running around trying to clean up first.

I ordered two pizzas, because we like different toppings, and then there is enough to eat for two days.

Two is a handy little number.

Let’s do two minutes of brainstorming. Ready?

Tea for two. Two of a kind. Two peas in a pod. It takes two. Two to Tango. Two plus two.

Two men and a baby, that’s a movie or a tv show, I forget which.

Or maybe it’s two and a half men.

Two for one.

Twice baked potato, which is technically a different word but it’s still done two times.

Two minute warning.

Two timing.

Double or nothing.

Twin Peaks.

And that makes two minutes.

Two is an even number. Things tend to come in twos, like sets of chairs or socks. And end tables. People who like symmetry, which is basically everyone I grew up with my whole life, buy lamps, tables, chairs, and candles in twos. You would never sit down at a dinner table that my mother set with just one candle. Or three.

Always two, spaced perfectly evenly along the length.

Two makes math easy. Dividing something in half is easier than dividing it into threes or sixes.

Love is more than just a game for two.

That’s a song lyric.

Two is the smallest prime number. It’s the only even prime number. It is one of only two integers that can be added and multiplied to get the same result. I’ll let you figure out the second.

The number two written in Roman numerals is II. You could also read that as eleven. Eleven plus eleven is 22.

22-2=20

20/2=10.

Ten is two numbers. On 10/2 (1995) the band Oasis released its second album, (What’s The Story) Morning Glory. The seeds of Morning Glory are used as psychedelics and cause hallucinations.

IT’S A CONSPIRACY!

Sorry, that was a total tangent but I couldn’t help myself. It takes a lot less than that to get some people going.

Tiff’s Treats wants to give me two dozen cookies today for 22% off. Did I mention that I rebooted? No cookies. I mean, if they had given me two for one, I probably would have caved. But they played the two card a little too hard.

The second largest living bird in the world is the Emu.

The second highest temperature ever recorded on earth was 130 degrees in Death Valley last July.

You can give your unsolicited opinion for two cents but personally I like to offer my twelve or twenty two cents.

Forty two is the answer to life, the universe and everything, and there’s a paperboy who really, really wants his two dollars.

Two points if you get both of those references.

I mean, you could really sit around all day thinking up places where two is at the center of attention.

If you really want my two cents, don’t start looking things up on the internet that have the word two attached to them. You will go down a rabbit hole and probably won’t find your way back until 3/3/33, which ultimately loses in the coolness game because it’s one number short. It is highly unlikely (though never say impossible) that anyone on Earth in this time-space dimension will ever see 3/33/33. Puzzle that one out.

In honor of Twosday, my keyboard has begun to helpfully type letters two times. It got so bad that I had to go get the canned air and clean it out in hopes that it would solve the problem. It didn’t.

So I looked it up.

Turns out there is a setting that changes the speed at which a letter will double if you hold down the key. Things you learn on Twosday!

I don’t believe in woo-woo-y things, and in my mind the only suspicious thing about coincidences would be if there weren’t any. But lately it seems like the universe is connecting all the dots for me.

This morning I enjoyed a lovely Zoom call with my friend Kaarina, during which I fortunately did not have to answer any questions about why I shaved my head (I didn’t. Go read what I wrote two blogs ago.) Apropos of nothing (ie: I don’t remember what we were talking about) she showed me her Thing One and Thing Two dolls. That was before she knew what my word would be today, and it just seemed too perfect a way to start the day.

So here’s to two great minds that think alike. It’s been so much fun two-stepping along with this number today that I think I will go and have two cups of tea in its honor.

My only regret is that I edited out all the double letters my keyboard decided to type. In retrospect it would have been kind of funny to leave them.

Photo: The photo Kaarina took of her Thing One and Thing Two after I said, “oooooh I need you to take a photo of Thing One and Thing Two for my blog!” And so she did. That’s worth a double xoxo.

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