There’s a lot to know about me but I’m sure you don’t want to read it all here. I bet you’ve got a job or a kid to feed or a lawn to rake or your own blog.

If you stick around you’ll get it, in snippets, and if you stick around long enough, we may even get to know each other and that would be fun.

But there are a few things you should probably know going in, so you can decide if it’s worth your time to stick around or if I sound like one of those people who’s going to do nothing but anger and irritate you.

For starters, I’m not always nice. Oh, I play nice, but deep down I have an inner bitch that doesn’t like to be diplomatic or compromising. If you get me on the wrong day or use a word like “door” at an inopportune moment, it could be very, very bad for our relationship.

The good news is that I’m forgiving, so if you’re an asshole and use the word “door” or “can opener”, I’ll get over it in five minutes and we can play nice again.

While I don’t plan to be mean or snarky here, I do plan to be honest. That’s not always pretty. And some people don’t like it.

I also tend to be a bleeding-heart liberal. But in a good way. It means I’ll probably give you my money at some point or let you crash on my couch when you’re in town.

There are a few things that bug me that could be considered controversial. Stupid people, for one. I really, really, really can’t abide by stupid people. Stick around long enough and you’ll find out what that means.

I dislike injustice, inequality and things that aren’t rational. I also hate bananas, so keep them far away from me.

I swear. Sometimes a lot though usually I don’t say “fuck” unless I really, really mean it. When I say that, you’ll know you’d better take me seriously. I’m now old enough to be eligible for senior living apartments (!) and my parents still hate it when I swear. And their version of swearing is saying “crap”.

Pizza is good but arroz con pollo is putting up a fight.

My cocktail bar has been expanding exponentially these past few years and I’m getting pretty proficient with a bottle of bitters. I even make my own.

I love to read though the internet has given me a touch of the ADD and it’s getting harder for me to focus on words for too long anymore, unless they have big, pretty pictures, preferably of a cat. You can talk to me about books anytime, except 50 Shades of Gray, because, seriously? It’s just stupid. I also hate stupid books.

I smoke cigars, drink whiskey, hate pink, love sunflowers, sleep late, eat pie, talk too much and write way more.

I also have a job running multiple businesses with my husband Ralph, who may or may not be mortified by what I write here.

Ralph and I have been together since 1989, married since 1997, working together since 1999 and nobody has been dismembered yet. Things may have been broken, but thankfully not people. We still like each other.

We have no kids, love to travel but hate to fly, and share most of the same interests, like a good steak, fresh strawberries, and sitting on the couch playing Destiny for more hours than should be in a day. Well, he plays Destiny. I just frantically look things up online to help him slay the monsters and win awards. Trust me, it’s better than Netflix.

As for the rest, stick around. It’s going to be messy. I hope you find a little bit of inspiration, amusement or connection here. Please feel free to jump in any time. I look forward to it!